What To Say To A Girl You Like? There Are No Best Pick-Up Lines.

Guys Are Too Concerned About Their Opening Line

We tend to freak out when we think about what to say to a girl. Men will spend a lot of time focusing on the right magic pickup line. If there was such an elusive line, I think someone would have figured it out by now. I think it is funny that people still think this “unicorn” is out there.

I get a lot of questions that start off like this:

“There is this one girl who blah blahblah so what do I say to her?”

Unfortunately, there is no perfect pickup line.  Say whatever comes to your mind right there and then. It is a risk you have to take if you want to meet her.

Every time I open my mouth, I take a risk and I am very comfortable with that. Sometimes it will go great and other times it will blow up in my face. That’s the risk. You have no idea what that person has been through that day, nor do you know how they are feeling in that exact moment. It’s always a gamble.

The biggest thing you have to know is that you might not be able to control other person’s moods and/or life, but you can control your responses. If she blows you out, you have to be fine with that. That’s just the natural law of things.

It’s a Game of Not Caring About the Results

I will always give it a shot if I want something. I understand that I might not be able to get it, but I will at least try to give it my best attempt. I have so much in my life right now because I wanted it and I took a chance for it.


It seems in this age of information and “I want it now” mentality, that if things don’t come easy, then nobody wants to go for it. “Oh, there is not a pill for that?” and “What do you mean there is no app for that?” seem to be echoed through the halls of laziness more and more often these days.

A Few Things About the Debacle of What to Say to a Girl

For me, the one thing that changed the situation was committing to the interaction, which is just going right in with authority and saying whatever comes to mind. Usually it would be something stupid and silly to spark some laughter. Things just seemed to snowball after that. A smile and great eye contact will go a long way.

The sillier the comment, the easier it was for me to continue the interaction in a positive, fun and playful way that always lead to being introduced to more people or getting the phone numbers of super-cute girls.

“Excuse me, did you just grab my ass?” seemed to work every time some nights. And because of how silly and stupid it was, I would be forced to be in somewhat of a sillier mood that was just as light and playful as the words I was using.

It’s Never About the Words

Instead, it’s always about how they are said.

It starts from being in a goofy, playful mood, being that ten year old boy or girl we used to be. Coming back to that and going out with that mindset will go a long way. People go out looking for fun.

Be that person who allows everyone else to have fun.

Still trying to come up with best pickup lines to use? Don’t. Instead, improve your body language and have fun interacting with the girls you meet.

Johnny Dzubak - author of 63 posts on The Art of Charm

Johnny happened upon the field of Social Dynamics and dating coaching quite by accident. Having been a touring musician much of his life, he felt the need to contribute positively to the world and was interested in the power of personal transformation. Johnny began educating himself about Social Dynamics and incorporating the concepts he learned into his day-to-day life. Soon after, he began coaching for a small Social Dynamics company out of Washington, DC; it was then that he met AJ & Jordan.

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in Approaching A Woman, Art of Dating