The Fine Art of Dating

Dating has enjoyed a resurgence in recent years. Fewer men are hanging out and getting together; more men are going on dates. A lot of what makes for a killer date is the planning. If you put a bit of thought into a date, you have a much firmer leg to stand on when the day comes. Indeed, it’s often an important step toward creating a deep and lasting attraction.

More Than Conversation

To be sure, a good date allows for ample conversation. However, having a date rely entirely upon conversation can make things stressful and awkward for both parties. Instead, you should pick an activity that allows you to talk and get to know one another, but also allows for comfortable silences. This takes a lot of pressure off of both of you, allowing each to concentrate more on having fun together.

Mutual Interests Are Best

Whether you met a woman on OKCupid or out at a local bar, you should have some idea about what common interests you share. Dates that allow each of you to engage due to mutual interests work the best for a number of reasons. First, they allow for “more than conversation,” as discussed above. They also act as a subtle show of your interest in her. It’s always important to show a woman that you’re interested in her for more than just her appearance. Picking a date based on mutual interests is a great way to express this type of interest.

Set the Alarm

Dates with built-in time limits are great. For example, if you go on a date to an art gallery, there is only so much gallery to explore. When you get through the gallery, that part of the date is over. At this point, you can either call it a day if you’re not really feeling it. On the other hand, you can also invite her out for a drink or back to your place if things are going really well. It’s a lot easier to expand a date with a built-in time limit than it is to end one early. Timing is a big part of the art of dating.

Date Ideas

I’ve given you some guidelines about how to make a killer date. But you’re probably also looking for some more concrete examples of what you can do to show yourself a master of the fine art of dating. Fear not. Here are a few examples of things that just about anyone can do on a first date and have a great time.

  • Game Dates: Bowling, miniature golf and a trip to the driving range are old standbys for a reason. They have built in time limits and allow for a bit of touching when you give her help with her form — or vice versa.
  • Walking Dates: Going on a walk with someone is a great way to get to know them, while also appreciating the walk itself. You can walk dogs together, take a stroll through a park or even hike up a mountain.
  • Active Dates: If you and your date like getting active, make that a part of your date. Jogging is always more fun with a partner. Ice skating and the aforementioned driving range and hiking dates are other ways that you two can get active while also getting to know one another.
  • Outside the Box Dates: Some dates show that you’re a creative, outside-the-box thinker. That’s great! Women love that sort of thing. Think along the lines of visiting a psychic, visiting a local tourist trap or even getting together to play video games (either at home or at an arcade).

If you want to know more about the fine art of dating and how to make it work for you, check out The Art of Charm Academy. For less than one dollar you can start learning the simple, easy-to-learn ways to level up your social game. Check it out today.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1050 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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