Overcome Shyness With Girls

Overcome ShynessWant to overcome shyness with girls? It’s one of the most common reasons men come to The Art of Charm. You can be a man with deep inner confidence in every other area of your life and still lack that same confidence with women. Not to worry: Inner confidence is a muscle that you can exercise like any other.

Confidence: A Valuable Asset

Confidence is an important asset in every aspect of your life, especially so with women. Indeed, confidence is one of the biggest things women look for in a man. They want men who aren’t needy and don’t seek approval from others. There are a variety of complex evolutionary and biological reasons for this. More to the point, confidence just feels good. You’re going to have a lot more fun when you hit the town if you’re confidently approaching women. That’s why we want you to overcome shyness with girls.

Get the Ball Rolling

Here’s some good news: To overcome shyness with girls you don’t even have to be confident from the outset. You do, however, have to pretend to be confident. When you act like a confident man, you appear as such to other people. They begin treating you as a confident man, which makes you feel more confident, making it easier to pretend that you’re confident. Pretty soon you’re not pretending anymore. This is the right kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Start walking taller, keeping your hands at your sides, maintaining eye contact and watching how timeless male icons like Clint Eastwood and Steve McQueen walk. This is one of the best ways to start your inner confidence engine.

How to Overcome Approach Anxiety

Most men get anxious when they see a woman they want to talk to. Their heart beats faster, their palms sweat and they get butterflies in the pit of their stomach. How do we overcome approach anxiety?

There’s no magic bullet. It’s just a question of doing it and doing it and doing it yet again. The more women you approach, the less anxious you’ll be about it. We have a saying here at The Art of Charm: If you aren’t messing up, you aren’t doing it right. Think of the greatest baseball players in the game. They only hit the ball a third of the time. Remember that you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take. So start hammering away at approach anxiety by talking to women as soon as you see one that interests you.

Always Be Bantering

A great way to boost your confidence talking to women is to just start talking to people in general. Talk to men and women alike everywhere. Banter with them in line at the grocery store, in coffee shops and yes, at bars and clubs. Part of getting you to overcome your shyness is just getting out there and talking to people. The more people you talk to, the easier it is to talk to everyone. Further, chatting with a gorgeous woman in line at the grocery store is in a lot of ways easier than doing it at a nightclub. Remember: You’re just chatting and joking around. No pressure.

Hit The Gym

If there’s a magic bullet when it comes to gaining more confidence it’s hitting the gym. It’s just a fact that exercise makes you feel better about yourself by releasing chemicals in the brain. What’s more, when you get on the right exercise routine, you’re going to like what you see in the mirror. This will also bolster your confidence all around, making it easier for you to talk to women.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1167 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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