Five Ways Hand Gestures Can Improve your Dating Life

A lot of times guys don’t think about hand gestures when it comes to their dating life. The Art of Charm doesn’t want you agonizing over your hand gestures. We do, however, want you making the most out of them just as you would any other aspect of your body language. Here are five ways that your hand gestures can start taking your game to the next level.

Hand Gesture Tip One: Control Them

This might sound basic, but that’s why we’re starting with it. Your hand gestures need to be purposeful. Don’t let your hands dictate what they’re going to do. Instead, be in control of your hand gestures just like you are the rest of your body language. If you’re going to move them, for any reason, make sure that it’s a choice and not something that just happens.

Start this process by just paying attention to what you’re doing with your hands. Make a note of how you use them already to get a baseline. Don’t analyze it or berate yourself for it. Just make a note of what you’re doing and maybe even ask why.

Hand Gesture Tip Two: Don’t Be Afraid of Neutrality

So many guys that we meet here at The Art of Charm are afraid of just letting their hands hang by their side. We have an exercise for these guys: Stand in front of a mirror with your hands just hanging at your sides. Does it look awkward? No, it doesn’t. You just look like some guy standing there. Don’t worry about having to do something with your hands at all times. That’s the second step toward creating hand gestures that can enhance your presence.

Hand Gesture Tip Three: Keep Them Out of Your Pockets

When you put your hands in your pockets you look closed off. What’s more, there’s a tendency to slouch and that’s a great way to scream to the rest of the room that your uncomfortable and not confident. See what we said about about not being afraid of neutrality. Hands in pockets is one of the worst habits a guy can get into; But with just a little bit of attention you can break it.

Hand Gesture Tip Four: Reach Out and Touch Someone

One way that you can really start leveling up your game is by not being afraid of touch. You want to ease into this, touching her in “safe” spaces like her shoulders, arms, hands and upper back. However, once you start doing that you’re going to give her permission to touch you and you’ll be surprised at just how fast she picks up on that. Finally, touch can ease the transition between the introduction and that all-important first kiss that so many guys are nervous about.

Hand Gesture Tip: Be Decisive

Now that your hand gestures are controlled, they should also be decisive. When it comes to hand gestures, never do anything half way. If you’re going to hold up your hand to hail the bartender, you need to go all the way with it. Otherwise, you’re communicating a lack of confidence and that’s always an attraction killer.

AJ Harbinger - author of 1161 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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