How to Gain Confidence in Your Love Life

“I’m just not confident.” Does this sound like you? Tons of men that we meet at The Art of Charm feel like they’re just not confident enough for the stuff that we teach to work. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth: Confidence is, after all, more a set of behaviors that project and create confidence than anything else. Here’s our advice to men on how to gain confidence in all aspects of their life.

Simple Ways to Start

Something you need to know right off the bat about confidence: You don’t need to have it to make other people think that you do. In fact, all you really need to do is stand up straight, have a slightly long gait, smile — with your whole face, not just your eyes — and keep your chin up, as they say. The way how to gain confidence is to feign confidence. Put all of these together and not only are you going to look more confident, but people will start perceiving you as being confident.

Hitting the Gym

Hitting the gym is way less optional the older that you get. Muscle is one of the first things to go and if you don’t work out, you’re going to be the guy with a bad back. What’s more, hitting the gym makes you feel better about yourself, which again, makes other people treat you like a confident man. Are you seeing a pattern here? Acting confidently is the first step toward feeling confident, which has people treating you like a confident man.

It’s a win all around.

How to Gain Confidence by Crafting Affirmations

Affirmations are another great way to get your confidence juices flowing. These aren’t the corny ones that you learn on New Age retreats. On the contrary, it’s more about inspiring yourself to action than telling yourself how great you are.

Here’s what you do: You figure out what you want, then you figure out something to tell yourself to motivate action. For example, if you find yourself having trouble looking for a new job, remind yourself why you need to find one. Similarly, if you’re having trouble approaching that smokin’ hot blonde at the end of the bar, remind yourself why you’ll regret not doing it in the morning.

Go On Dates

This is what it all comes down to, right? Getting out there and getting that date. That’s what we want for you and that’s what you want for yourself. What’s more, fewer things are going to give you more confidence about your love life than going on dates. So do it!

AJ Harbinger - author of 1156 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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