Toolbox | Unlock Your Inner Super Connector by Growing Your Social Capital

In today’s episode, we cover networking with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. 

Many of us don’t realize there is more to networking than simply showing up to events and introducing, so what kind of preparation should go into networking events, how do you know what value you have to offer those you meet, and how can you use digital platforms to be the super connector no one forgets? 

What to Listen For

  • Intro to networking and Coach Michael’s recruitment – 0:00
  • What common misconceptions do people have about networking and interacting with people in your network?
  • What 3 questions can you ask yourself to prevent you from wasting a life-changing networking opportunity?
  • Networking hurdles and overcoming them – 9:50
  • What does science say about why so many of us feel uncomfortable about networking and what can we do about it? 
  • When and where should you avoid networking?
  • Why is networking about more than just career development?
  • Social capital and networking  – 21:15 
  • What are the 3 components of social capital and why do you need to know your social capital if you want to network effectively?
  • What are the 2 strategies to networking and why do you need a mix of both in order to be successful at networking?
  • Effective networking in the digital era  – 34:50 
  • What tips can you start using today to build an amazing network and connect with people you look up to?
  • Why is it important to know your WHY when it comes to networking?
  • What is the best way to introduce two people in your network?
  • What are the best practices for following up with people you meet at a networking event (and what should you avoid doing)?

Many of us view networking events as isolated opportunities to meet new people in which you only have the event itself to make new connections. The most effective networkers, however, know that is inefficient because that’s when everyone else is trying to do the same. Great networkers utilize the time before and after the events to start and strengthen new relationships. This can be as easy as messaging the attendees and speakers on LinkedIn before an event letting them know you are looking forward to meeting them and/or hearing their presentations. 

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Resources from this Episode

Speaker 1: Well go back to the art of charm podcast, a show designed to help you communicate with power and become unstoppable on your path from hidden genius to influential leader.

Speaker 2: We know you have what it takes to reach our full potential and each and every week we share with you interviews and strategies to help you transform your life. By helping you unlock your X factor, whether you're in sales, leadership, medicine, building client relationships, or looking for love, we got what you need. You shouldn't have to settle for anything less than extraordinary.

Speaker 1: And I'm Johnny, thank you everyone for tuning in let's kick off today's toolbox episode. We have our coach Michael, joining us today, and we're going to be doing a deep dive into networking. We're going to show you how to take stock of the network you already have and get clear on what you have to offer. Then we're going to talk about how to grow and strengthen your network strategically, whether in person or through online events. And lastly, we're going to share with you our techniques that we've used to grow our own personal networks over the years with great success. And we're super excited to share them with you. Well, today we have Michael joining us for another toolbox episode. This one is actually focused on networking, and I thought it'd be fun today to kick off the backstory of how networking actually led us to meet Michael and welcome him to our team here.

Speaker 1: And I think for many of us, when we think of networking, we think it's a little icky because we've had some poor experiences with people being very transactional, but in today's story of how I actually came to meet Michael, it was the exact opposite. And I think that's how effective networking works for most of us, it works through friendships and it's not about what can I get out of someone else? So a little bit of backstory, I moved to LA almost 12 years ago now. And when I first moved to LA, I of course wanted to grow my professional network. So I was doing everything I could to go to networking events around Los Angeles. And I happened to go to this event and I was introduced to someone that I just had to meet, who knew everyone in LA. And that happened to be David and David became a great friend of mine.

Speaker 1: We spent some time throughout some networking events, smoking hookah sharing stories of building businesses. And I came to realize that David really is a super connector. He knows everyone. So as David got to know the art of charm and what we were doing and growing our business, he was constantly passing me little tips and tricks. Some of which tremendously helped us grow our business. And we were always looking to trade contact information with interesting people. We were meeting through our networking efforts, and I knew that David was very open to meeting new people and he knew the same for me. So one of David's friends, someone he had, uh, encountered back in Germany was moving to Los Angeles. And David reached out to me and said, I think you'd really get along with my friend till he is moving to LA. He has a great business.

Speaker 1: That's in the coaching space. I think you guys would have a lot in common and he made the introduction. So not knowing till at all. I went and grabbed lunch locally here in Los Angeles. And we had a great conversation around the backstory of both of us building coaching businesses, essentially coming out of college. And Till's story was very similar to mine. We were trading notes around what our goals were for the future until it was actually looking to transition out of coaching. And he was like, you know, one of my team members I think would be a great fit for the coaching that you're doing at the art of charm. I'd love to introduce you to him. And I of course said, yeah, that sounds great. Put me in touch. And he introduced me to Michael and I think that's really, what's fascinating about all of this.

Speaker 1: As many of us think of networking is happening in person happening in the same location. And of course there tends to be some transactionality tied to it till it, I of course became great friends. And through that, Michael was able to join our team, even though we had never met in person until months and months later when Johnny and I went out to Vienna to hang out with Michael and run a bootcamp for the first time in Vienna. So Michael, I'd love to hear your side of the story. We were laughing. If the stories would match up,

Speaker 3: Um, I'm kind of relieved that they, they do. Um, they are tilling David they're their grades. Great guys. And the piece of the story that I can still add on my end is that, uh, when I was working with tiller, as one of his coaches, I was a big fan of the artist term, listening to the podcast. I was secretly saving up for that boot camp I kept hearing about. And then one day till, um, got on a call with me and I was like, dude, um, what do you think about the art of term? Like how do you, how do you think about like working for them? And I did this little like squeal and probably like, you know, reverberated across the, the apartment building I'm living in. Um, and, and long story short, like a couple of days later, we were in a call, which was really weird because I'm used to listening to the podcast.

Speaker 3: I'm like 1.5 X and suddenly you guys were talking. So it was oh, in the meeting, but it was so great. And it was so like lined up. And I think it was just a matter of weeks before I was coaching for the art of charm. And then as the final, like cherry on top of my master plan, instead of coming to LA to do the boot camp, you guys came to Vienna to do the boot camp year. So I mean, you know, that was a, that was the, just the, the end of my, my master plans. Um, I'm curious to see what, what else is coming our way. And when

Speaker 1: I think back, I didn't go into that meeting with, till that first initial launch saying, oh, I wonder if I can hire someone. What can I get out of till researching his company, comfort zone crusher and seeing you there and being like, oh, I'm definitely going to poach one of his coaches that was so far off of my radar. I knew that through the warm introduction, in my existing network of David saying, Hey, you have to meet this person. He's totally fascinating. He's building a very similar business to yours that I was going to go into the lunch open-minded and excited to hear Till's story. And much of what our relationship was built on was both of us adding to each other's lives. It was not the opposite, which I think is why many of us feel that networking is so icky. It was not immediately going for the ask, Hey, till we're looking to hire coaches, who do you know, who can you introduce me to?

Speaker 1: And when I think about when I log into LinkedIn and I go to my messages and I dread logging in there, because much of what I encounter in networking is people saying, Hey, excited to add you to my network. And that next message is, Hey, can I sell you something? Can I get something from you? I need a favor. Introduce me to this person. You've had this person on the podcast. I want them on mine, do something for me. And unfortunately that's just a very ineffective way to network. And when you are in a transactional viewpoint around networking, you really do yourself a disservice. You don't allow the relationships to build the connections that really lead to effective networking. So today we're going to give you some of our tried and true strategies. And of course, Michael is going to give us some of the science of what's going on and why networking. That's transactional, doesn't work. And why much of what we're seeing, especially with this explosion of digital networking of how easy it is to connect with people across the globe and build great relationships. Even before you get a chance to go visit Vienna, have some amazing desserts and hang out with them.

Speaker 2: I want to add to that as well. We come from a place of serving our own needs first. So if you bring up networking, my first thought of, of networking is what do I need? And, and who do I need to meet to get it? Those are my first thoughts. That doesn't mean that's what networking is. My brain initially goes to what it means to my brain and what it needs and what I need as a human being, which is attention approval and acceptance, which is what we call value here at the art of charm. And we need that to the work that we do. We need attention. We need the eyeballs. We need the approval. We need the acceptance because without it, our, our work for, for a lot of us is meaningless. If, if we're creating and no one cares, there's no other side and it's no one is joining, enjoying the work that we're doing.

Speaker 2: Well, it becomes very difficult to dig in and continue that create creating. There's, there's a self satisfaction for myself to create, but that's only one half of the reason that we all do it. The other half is to contribute to our communities and our society and to, and to help move it into a certain direction. And then that becomes important. And we have to then start to think about, rather than who do I need to meet? What do I need? What, what are, what are my needs to move into the next level? It's what do I have to offer? Who can I meet? How can I help them? Because that's now the two way to two way street. It's the sec, the other side of the coin. And this gives me more of a reason to get excited because I'm going to help others reach their goals. And as we have talked about on this show, many times, the science shows that when we contribute, when we're helping others, we feel better. It's the altruism. And, and as human beings that allows us to connect with other people. And in turn, when we're high value, meaning we're the ones giving the attention approval and acceptance to what other people are doing. Well, guess what? That's when the high value starts to roll back to us, that makes us high value people, because we're not looking for it. Our first thought is to give it.

Speaker 1: And if you're feeling that networking is dirty, you're not alone. So there is actually a Harvard business study around this exact phenomenon. And essentially this 2006 study found that people felt physically dirtier after recalling past transgressions than recalling good deeds. And that translates to networking. When people are asking you something, and when people are transactional, we ourselves actually feel dirty and we feel less likely to do it. And this professor, Francesca Gino from Harvard business school says, here's the problem. There's two camps that people fall in that make networking field dirty. The first is that you've engaged in networking, where someone has asked for something really fast. They've made a request of you and immediately you felt that it cheapen all of that relationship capital that was being built. So think about it. You go to McDonald's, you order a hamburger and you get the value meal.

Speaker 1: You're sitting at the table, eating your lunch, and a stranger walks up to you and says, Hey, I really like your shirt. And you're like, oh, thank you. And then immediately they go, Hey, can I have a French fry? Odds are, you're not going to give up one of those delicious French fries. But if your friend sits down at the table across from you and he didn't get the value meal, he's sitting there eating his hamburger. You're most likely going to offer up some of your fries because we feel more connected to people. We end up giving them value. We feel worthy of sharing with them. But many of us who we approach networking, we go in with the mindset of what can I get out of this? And we're already thinking three steps ahead. We're not thinking about building real relationships. The second phenomenon that professor Gino realized is that many junior level professionals feel worse about networking because they feel like they're the person asking for the French fry.

Speaker 1: They feel like takers. They feel like they don't have anything to offer. So if you feel dirty around networking, you're not alone. Odds are, you've been in a situation where someone's trying to steal your French fries, and you may find yourself in a situation wondering, well, what can actually give someone, what is it that I bring to the table to make them feel good? That would allow me to get to a place to ask something. So today we're going to dive into how we can build that social capital, what you actually bring to the table. Even if you're just starting out in your career, even if you're an intern or maybe you don't even have a job yet you have the ability to network and it doesn't have to make you feel dirty. It doesn't have to make you feel like a taker. And some of the best relationships that I've developed in my life have happened through those loose connections. So it's really important that we don't overlook, networking and think about it just in a career setting. It also improves our social wellbeing.

Speaker 2: Hold up. This goes out to you. The listener life comes easier. For some people, certain people have the ability to seemingly get whatever they want in their personal and professional life.

Speaker 1: You'll probably know some of these individuals it's as if they achieve their desires on demand yet your stuck scratching and clawing. Just to hang on. The truth though, is that you also have the ability to elevate yourself, to gain the social skills, to win at work love in life. You just need to know how to unlock your inner potential.

Speaker 2: You see some people can tap into this internal superpower because of their personality.

Speaker 1: They're born with a certain skillset. It just takes a little more work for others to gain access to it.

Speaker 2: You do, you change your future because you gain the ability to communicate and perform. When the stakes are high,

Speaker 1: As Warren buffet says, you can have all the brain power in the world, but you have to be able to transmit it. And the transmission is communication, which can increase your value by at least 50%. Let us at the art of charm help you increase your value and unlock your inner potential

Speaker 2: Head on over to unlock your X-Factor dot com to learn more about our year-long mentorship program apply today at unlock your X-Factor dot com.

Speaker 3: I think the important thing before we even start talking about how you connect with people, it's important to talk about the, when we do it and where we do it. Because something that we see a lot is this common that networking happens at networking events. It happens at the conference. It happens at the trade show. That's when you bring your business cards and that's when you connect to people. And, and this is hugely limiting factor in that game that is networking because this can happen everywhere, wherever, whatever you're doing, whether you're, you know, in McDonald's complimenting someone's shirt, like this is where networking can happen. Uh, you meet, you meet at the plus one that a friend brought along, right? It's your party. You, you invite everyone to come bring your plus one. Why not? And now guess what, there are a lot of new connections just sitting there in your party and you get to network with them.

Speaker 3: Um, you could leave your cubicle at work to go into the kitchen, get a coffee. And there's, there's a new face. Like you could talk with them. I, I had to smile a little bit when, when you were talking about McDonald's, uh, ha not because of McDonald's because, um, I used to have a reputation in the last job that I worked in, in the film industry, which is where I was before I became a public speaker and a coach. I was the, and I didn't notice it back then, but it became glaringly obvious. After the fact I was the networker in the company because I'm a coffee addict. So I was constantly in the kitchen and I enjoyed the fact that, you know, I'm away from the desk. I wasn't the person who would carry the coffee back to my table and then keep working.

Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm drinking my coffee here. I'm going to stay in the kitchen. And then people passed and Michael talked with all of them. And before I even knew it, there was a new project starting. And I heard that they were like recreating the characters for the TV show. And I just heard that through the grape wine. And I was like, guys, like, I'm leading an animation team here. I think, you know, I could take on that project. I think I'm the right person. And then that, that landed on my, on my desk. And I was creating these new characters for the second season. Not because I applied, not because it was begging someone just because I was talking to a lot of people. And I saw that as a networking opportunity, even though back then, that piece of software wasn't even running in my brain.

Speaker 3: So you're getting the coffee at work or a tea. Um, you might be volunteering, not because you want to network, you just want to volunteer because you want to, you know, bring some good out there and you'll free time. Who knows who you might be running into. I'd maybe there's a person who's really good at your job, or really good at something you need or in a leadership position, looking for people. And guess what? They already know you because you're helping out in the same. I don't know. I'm going to say animal shelter. So, and there's, there's so many more opportunities. Like the moment you talk with someone online or in real life, this is a networking opportunity. And so you're not wearing your networking hat only at those conferences. When you had to pay for a ticket, you had to travel somewhere, but wherever you go

Speaker 1: And networking is not just career based. I think that word gets thrown around a lot. And we naturally think about, okay, well, what are my job prospects? I've made friends through networking. I've gone on dates with people in my network. So if you think about it and you're listening to this, you're like, well, I'm happy in my career. I don't really need to grow. My network. Networking is not just about moving ahead in your career. And advancing networking provides a wealth of opportunity in your life, and it creates a social life. That's healthy for your mental health. And we've talked about this countless times on the show, the more connected we are as humans, the happier we are. So networking, it's ongoing. It happens everywhere. It's not something that you need to buy a ticket to attend, to get an opportunity to network. And when you approach it with the right mindset of how can I actually connect with this person instead of what can I get out of this person? It's far more fun

Speaker 3: And it can be insanely rewarding like a half. This alarm sounds on my iPhone that goes off every morning. And it's my favorite song. And here's the story behind the song. I was the one that connected the two people that formed that band. And that this sounds a little bit like I don't mean to show off here. I just mean to say that whenever my alarm clock goes off, I'm getting, I'm getting goosebumps because I'm thinking back to 2016, when these two people attended an event that I was hosting and they connected on that event and they both formed a band and six months later, their first album came out and now after, you know, the lockdowns are over and there's concerts again, paying in Vienna. And sometimes they play and I sit in the audience and when I hear people clap, I'm thinking less like I was a little part of what happened here because I was networking in my, in my social life.

Speaker 2: And this goes with what AGA was saying. You may feel content in your career, or there's no reason for you to network and you're happy where things are, but I've been saying this on this show for a while. Now that you should have several missions in your life, you should be putting together several things. Maybe you have a, a family romantic mission of what you want that to be like and what you're going to build for yourself. Uh, perhaps you have a hobby mission of something that you want to do on a creative level. And then you have your career mission. I certainly have all three of those for myself. And you can have as many as you want. Obviously the more you have, the more scattered you're going to be. I like for myself, my two main ones. And because I just moved to Vegas from LA last year, there was two main missions on my mind.

Speaker 2: Uh, number one is always going to be a POC and the work that we do here and its importance and how we're trying to change the world. The second one is my S my, my second, my slash career and my hobby, which is, which is music. And because I had wrote a bunch, I had nothing but time on my hands during the pandemic. And I had wrote a bunch of stuff. And I had decided that the mission that I was going to take on as I moved to Vegas was the jump into the music scene to go along with Michael and to make a record, at least the, the, the demos, putting it together, and the idea of getting a record together based on the music that I had written during the pandemic. It was a weird time in all of our lives. I wanted to document that time and music being a, uh, a medium that I love using the create, uh, that was high on my list.

Speaker 2: And as things started opening up and I started meeting people here, as I started talking about what I was doing here, that mission of, of music making this record, was it top of my mind, especially while I'm going out to see shows, because that's the community that I enjoy, and we'll be discussing that in a bit, but it has opened so many doors for myself. And yet I'm incredibly new to this, this scene here in Vegas. It has been so much fun because it is allowed me to be purposeful. And, uh, the conversations that I'm having, what I want to get out of these relationships. And of course, more importantly, how can I contribute? And I had started that networking well, before things opened up in Vegas, I had started that networking. The minute that I realized I was moving to Las Vegas and I was, and I started that from the comfort of my own living room in laws in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1: And let's talk about how you're able to start that because in order for us to become great networkers, we have to first look at our own social capital bank account and think about what we have to offer before we start focusing on what we can get from others. And we define social capital is really three things that every single person on this planet has no matter how junior you might think you are. If you are a fresh college graduate, you have social capital. You may not realize it yet. Social capital, as we define it is your relationships, your knowledge or expertise and emotional support. These are three things that you bring into every networking situation, as something you have to offer others. And no matter how junior you may be, you have some relationships, you have friends, you had your Greek life, you had people you've worked with in your internship.

Speaker 1: Or if you're senior, you have a ton of relationships. Most likely. And we work with a lot of clients who are in that phase of their career. They're senior, they're in the C-suite. And they're asking us, you know, I've reached all of my career goals. What's next for me? And the one thing that we say over and over again is how can we help the people below us get to that exact same level? That's just as fulfilling. So if you're at a place in your career where you're happy, you've checked every box, you're enjoying life. How about looking two, three rungs below you and saying, what do I have to offer these people who aspire to get to my level? That's incredibly rewarding. The second bucket is knowledge. You have knowledge, whether you realize it or not, guess what if you know, Tik TOK, you have more knowledge around Tik TOK than the three of us combined.

Speaker 1: And you have incredible value to companies who are trying to reach to the younger generations on new social platforms. We have a member Todd in our X-Factor accelerator who is getting started in digital marketing, and he was struggling to figure out what he could do as an intern to really help businesses. And I was like, Todd, we don't know tech talk. And I don't have the time to understand all the nuance of Tik TOK. You're on it every day. You have knowledge in that area. The third is the easiest of all three emotional support. What are you doing to celebrate those around you? How are you giving, as Johnny said, that attention, that appreciation, acceptance to others. What about when people are going through difficult times, are you there to be that shoulder for them to lean on? Are you there to pick up their spirits? That is another form of social capital that we all have to offer. So as we go through the section around social capital, we're going to be asking you to really first look introspectively around what you bring to the table. What do you bring to that lunch? What do you bring to that coffee? What are you putting out there on LinkedIn for others to see the social capital you have to offer

Speaker 2: To go along with that. And I want to, I want to discuss two strategies and networking that people may or may not be familiar with. And this is where a lot of people run into problems because they don't see it as two different strategies. One is defensive networking strategies. So an example of that would be I'm going to this networking event. I'm going to dress my best. I'm going to put on a smile. I'm going to chat with the people who are around me, but, uh, at that moment, I'm going to hope for the best, right? I'm going to hope that I meet the people that I need to, and that things work out well for me, as you see in that hope is part of that strategy. So why is it defensive? Because you're setting up, you're getting a base and you're, you're doing your best to chat with the people that come to you. That's defensive versus what are your authentic strategies? Did you do any research? Do you know who you're looking for? Do you know your own self worth? So when you have those opportunities, you're able to pitch rather than hoping that it all just comes together. And this isn't, this is incredibly important because when I start digging in to our clients and then the X-Factor of what they are doing in their networking. And I hear while I went through this thing and I, I talked to the folks around me and nothing really came out of it.

Speaker 2: What were your offensive strategies? How'd you go into it? What was your plan? Want? Whoa, I did what you guys hold mail. I went and I talked to the folks around me. That's defensive strategies. That's good. Do you want a good mix of defensive and offensive strategies? Because having an offensive strategy allows you to then take control of, of the situation of who you're going to meet and, and order to put together an offensive strategy. You have to have a mission because you have to know what you need. You have to know what, where you already are. This puts the ball in your hands, and you got to put it. You got to get yourself together and collected and do what's right. And by bringing in a mix of both, you are going to maximize those networking opportunities. This is why it's so important to be clear on why you're going and what do you have. And I want to say another point in having a mission and doing your research and understanding your worth. This brings up an interesting point. One of the points that you brought up AIJ was the emotional support, right there, give people the attention approval and acceptance. They need to feel good on their mission, on their journey. And I see this a lot where people are like, well, I told my friends if they needed any help to hit me up, you know, they didn't, they didn't hit me up. Is that defensive? Or is that offensive?

Speaker 1: It's defensive. We think it's all fencing. We think it's offensive. You're putting the ball in the other person's court. You're asking them to come to you with something. And as we know, asking for help, asking for support is one of the most difficult things we all do as humans, many of us are completely averse to asking for help. So if you're like, Hey, just let me know when you need help, or let me know how I can help you without suggesting anything that you think might be helpful without being proactive about it. You are playing defensive. Now one of our recent guests, Susan MacPherson gave us an incredible office of strategy that many aren't utilizing. So if you have an event coming up, go to the attendee list, add all of those people on LinkedIn, send a little message. I'm excited to meet you and start offering emotional support or growing your social capital before the event by commenting and liking the posts that these people are putting out on LinkedIn.

Speaker 1: That's the simplest form of emotional support. Have I met this person in real life? No. Do I have any connection to them? Not yet, but I'm excited to meet them at the event. And now I'm playing an authentic strategy and guess what? They will have seen my face on LinkedIn. They will have had some warm and fuzzies for seeing some comments that are relevant to what they're posting. And when they see my face in that room, odds are, they're probably going to feel compelled to talk to me. Maybe even approach me. All of that took minutes. It didn't take hours. It didn't take years. And it puts you in a position that 90 plus percent are not doing. They're playing defense. They're showing up thinking that's enough. If you consider yourself a top performer, you know, that showing up is not enough to get you there.

Speaker 2: Let me give you an example of this from my own life. Once I realized that I was moving to Vegas, I had this mission I wanted to get started. I wanted to start my networking. I had joined some local social media groups that were Vegas musicians. And of course I did exactly what you were talking about. I was started to reach out, sent them little messages, moving to town, blah, blah, blah, just, just to be seen. And then in those groups, adding value to their posts, to what they were celebrating, what they had going on, and then making a few introductions where I could or whatnot. So by the time things opened up, I started going out and people were trying to get to me, wanting to meet me, wanting to meet the new guy, wanting to meet the guy that they had been interacting with.

Speaker 2: And this is not career. This is, this is pure hobby. This is the slash career, right? And once this gets started, right, then you're not having to go to this networking event and put yourself out there and hoping that to be accepted. You already are. You've already done the work. Now people are looking to solidify those relations. They created online by coming out and meeting you personally. Well, I remember hanging out with a buddy of mine, who I met online, who was taking me to, uh, one of the venues here in town. And as we showed up, people were coming up to him and asking him, Hey, is that Johnny? Is that Johnny from the R group? And then he's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys met? And he's doing all the work he's introducing because those folks already had, had met me online. And now they had an, an in between the person that I was with. I was the bridge that to be able to make that connection. And for myself, it was now I could play defense. Now I can sit there and smile and shake everybody's hand and ask them what's going on and talk about the missions that they are on.

Speaker 3: I did that very same thing at, um, a TEDx event just before the pandemic hit. And it was a huge event. And I saw the attendee list on LinkedIn and sorry, the speaker list. And I've wrote to every single speaker. I said, Hey, I have a good trip to Vienna looking forward to, to see your talk. I will be in the first row, um, you know, good luck guests who was recognized by the speakers at this event with over 1200 attendees, this guy who texted them before, give them a thumbs up. And it's like, Hey, I'll be cheering from you as this. So amazing. They were so grateful. They were like, there were so many speaker high fives that I got after they came off the stage. And it was it wasn't, I wasn't trying to manipulate. I wasn't trying to get anything out of it. Like, I know this is a scary thing you doing so thumbs up, you know, good, good luck. And it costs me like, what half an hour? I'll be honest with you. Like some of that stuff, I copy paste it because it still came from the heart. I don't have to. Re-type the message every single time. Right. And it felt, it felt so good for me. And it meant so much to them.

Speaker 1: I want to share a quick anecdote that I think a lot of our younger listeners would really appreciate. So one of my good buddies, max loves electronic music. And his favorite DJ was coming to visit his town for a music festival. And he reached out to his favorite DJ on Twitter. I was like, I'm so excited. You're coming to my hometown. I can't wait to go to this event and go to this party to see you DJ, do you have a ride from the airport? I'd be happy to pick you up. And the DJ actually responded to as DM and said, you know what, I'd love a ride from the airport. And he was able to pick up his favorite DJ and have a 20 minute conversation while showing them around his hometown. And now he's gone to see his favorite DJ played massive festivals in Paris, sitting on stage.

Speaker 1: And he loves sending me photos with the crowd behind him and his favorite DJ spinning. That's the power of offering up? What is that emotional support that DJ hadn't been to that town? He didn't know. He could take an Uber. He could get the black car, but he was like, you know what? I'm going to take a ride with the local. Who's going to show me a great time. He was a fan of my work. We've talked a lot about this, appreciating others for the hard work that they put into creating. And many of you have reached out to us and appreciate us. And we incredibly value that it fuels us to do what we do. Everyone in your life that you look up to is creating somewhere. They're putting stuff out there on LinkedIn. They're putting stuff out there on Facebook, and you could provide that emotional support digitally.

Speaker 1: And that's the beauty. Let's start networking on mark Zuckerberg's dime. So I caught an NFL game over the weekend. And what did I see? Advertised Facebook groups. Mark Zuckerberg is spending hundreds of millions of dollars to promote Facebook groups so that you can connect with like-minded people. That's where the networking is happening right now. It doesn't even have to be on LinkedIn. We are looking for some sales support. So we joined some sales, networking groups on Facebook. And what do you know? We start getting potential sales people reaching out to us because of what we are posting and sharing in those groups. This is right in front of you. You could pause this right now and open up your Facebook app type in any of your interests or hobbies. And you will find relevant Facebook groups and have the ability to start building and growing your social capital right now, no events necessary.

Speaker 1: So that's the power of understanding what your social capital is. So let's think about it. What people do you already know, maybe at some professors from college, maybe at some colleagues at work, maybe it's some great people from your bowling league who are doing incredible things. Rebuilding classic cars, make a list of all the people, those weak ties. It doesn't even have to be your closest friends that you know, that's part of your social capital. And then think, what do you love reading about? What do you love researching? What could you talk about for hours on end? That's your knowledge? That's what you bring to the table. One of our clients said I was working with him personally and he wanted to become a coach. And he works at chase and finance. And he's like, I don't really have much to talk about on LinkedIn.

Speaker 1: Like, what am I supposed to be posting about? And I was like, anything that interests you, maybe it's a book you read. And it's like, well, actually I read based on your recommendation, a book on habits. And I love the BJ Fogg episode. So he started posting his own stories with implementing habits. Guess what his boss was following him on. LinkedIn saw that he was posting around habits. They had a great conversation and his boss was like, there's actually a new role opening up in another side of the company. And normally we do not recommend people transfer from this department to the other, but I think you might be a great fit for this role. And he ended up getting that job, the promotion, all because he started sharing his knowledge and his interests on LinkedIn. So you don't have to be an expert in building resumes.

Speaker 1: You don't have to be an expert SDR. If any self development you're doing is relevant to you and impacting you and you enjoy talking about it, share it, share it on your Facebook, share it on your LinkedIn. And you'd be surprised how many people are lurking. They may not be liking. They may not be commenting, but you're planting those seeds of your own social capital. You're watering that garden. Now the last piece, think about all the people in your life and what they're going through. Coming out of this pandemic. We've all had some highs or lows where you there to celebrate your friends, buying a new house, having a kid, starting a new job, if not reach out to them now and talk to them about those amazing life events that happen, or did your friends go through a terrible divorce? Did they lose their job?

Speaker 1: Did they have a family member who caught COVID and had some tragedy in their family, reach out to them and say, Hey, I'm just thinking of you. We haven't talked in a while. That's the emotional support piece of social capital that we all have right now, no matter where you are, you have at your disposal to start building and forging great relationships and networking. So now we understand what we're bringing to the table. We've shared with you some of our online networking strategies that we've used over the years to grow this business. Let's talk about some things that we can do actually at the event and how we can leverage these opportunities as we start going to more in-person events so that we can massively grow our network over the next year. The one thing that we have to keep in mind is that every single person going to these events is a little nervous, is a little anxious.

Speaker 1: It's new. We probably haven't been out to events in person in a very long time. And the large events are very overwhelming. Thousands of attendees, people staying in all these different hotel rooms. And one of my favorite things to do, not only identifying the people that I want to meet before the event, but as to arrange a small get together before the event, whether that be an escape room, whether that be a dinner, whether that be a launch or even a hike to show off a part of LA that maybe people attending the event would just never get an opportunity to go check out. If you host a pre event, you actually get much more face time and opportunity with people attending that event. And you'll end up getting far more yeses because most people land in early and they don't really have plans before the event starts.

Speaker 1: They're just trying to get their bearings and trying to get settled. So if you have something fun, interesting to offer about your hometown, about something that you know about the city, that may be a lot of people visiting don't know, even if you don't know anyone, you've never met them before, you'd be surprised at how many people say yes to those opportunities, simply because the itinerary hasn't started for the event. So you being a little bit of a pre-party planner, you have a leg up on everyone else. Who's just showing up at the event, name tag, thousands of people, tote bags, et cetera. So something I want to add to life

Speaker 3: Events, the, the themed IRL events, uh, we've all been missing so much. Is that for me as a public speaker, there's one way in which you can collect like a thousand bonus points in my book. And that is if I open up the floor and ask for any questions after my, after I gave a talk, be the first one who raises the hand, like please, because when you're up there, when you're speaking in front of a big audience, unless you're like a superstar, you know, and very few are, um, the first thought thought that goes through your head as you finish your talk is, did they like it? Did they like it? What if I don't get any questions it's going to be so embarrassing. And you know what the audience is thinking, oh, I have so many questions, but I'm not be the first one.

Speaker 3: Right? So, so please do yourself and do the speaker a favor. And the moment the talk is over and then like any questions out there, let your hand be the first one up. And an even if you don't have a question ready, just let them know how much you enjoyed the conversation. And those speakers will, will love your friend. I've done this so many times. Um, in fact, whenever I coach someone to go up on stage, I might nudge the person sitting next to me and be like, Hey, do me a favor. The moment you ask for any questions, please just be the first one to raise your hand. And this is always what happens, right? One hand goes up and then a sea of hand goes up in the entire audience, but it needs to be that first hand. And the speaker will remember who that hands,

Speaker 2: What you're doing is you're creating familiarity. And if you're at a networking event where people are flying in, let's say it's a conference. So people are flying in. People do know each other, but it's been online. Those relationships are not all that, all that strong what's important is being seen. It's propinquity. It is building familiarity. And you only do that by saying, hello, introducing yourself. And this is where I think a lot of people get themselves in trouble because it's, well, I want to know this person I need to be seen, but now I need to come up with stuff I can talk about. You're jumping ahead of the, putting the cart in front of the horse, those other people, the people that you're trying to meet, they could be busy. They could have things that they're doing, they're have their own agenda and it is going on. We, you do not need to think about how do you bog them down in a conversation of something that, you know, the act of just saying, hello, saw them online. One to introduce yourself, I'll see you around at the conference done that is being seen. You've opened the doors. Once you open the doors, there's a lot of natural things that will happen just from building being familiar, allowing propinquity to build that familiarity. And that

Speaker 1: Coaching clients said that I mentioned earlier with the great, getting a job offer, essentially internally, that is not available to many in his position. So we actually met because I was on stage giving a talk at a conference and I didn't think the talk was going very well based on the reaction in the crowd. And Sid came up after the talk and he complimented me. And then he asked me a clear question about what we had just discussed on stage. And he told me, he's like one day I want to be on the same stage. I really want to get there. And I thought that was just such a genuine appreciation of me getting off the stage of me feeling some nerves, as Michael talked about as speakers, we don't often have a great ability to judge how well that talk was perceived, especially when it's a big audience.

Speaker 1: And you can't really see all the faces. Clearly, as the event went on, I saw him around and I just said, Hey, we're going to dinner me and a few other speakers. You want to come join? And he was like, blown away. Like, holy cow, I get to go with the speakers. I'm like, yeah, come on, join us. Cause I knew he wanted to be a speaker on stage fast forward two years. So he ends up being a coach and client of mine. He then ends up speaking on that exact stage two years later. So when you understand the power of giving value to others, you understand that people who are in these power positions still have their own doubts insecurities. And aren't sure how they're being perceived. Even if they're the keynote speaker and they've just come off the stage. It goes so far in creating that warmth, that connection that leads to opportunities.

Speaker 1: Sid, didn't say, Hey, can you introduce me to the person who's running this event? And I want to get on stage next year, Sid didn't say, Hey, I need to meet four other people. Can you introduce me to your whole network? He just understood giving emotional support to the speaker, being warm and friendly. And then me seeing him around, as Johnny said, propinquity, it became a no brainer to just invite him, to meet all the other speakers that he was excited to hear on stage as well. So these are simple strategies that we can use before. And during the event to set yourself apart from the crowd, you don't have to brown nose. You don't have to sit there for 30 minutes after the talk, talking to the speaker, but a little word of encouragement, a bit that you took from the talk that you're either going to implement, or you really enjoyed, or maybe you have implemented and got results in your life goes a long way to stand out in that audience with

Speaker 2: Said, I want to bring up the, this idea again, that he had a mission. There was a purpose. He, he was committed to that mission and it was able to pursue it, him pursuing it, led him to introducing himself to you. This is why being committed to your mission, gives you the why that pushes you to do the offensive strategies. And this is important. And I want to bring up another point that goes along with being seen as well for a lot of people, they think about wall. If I'm not in conversation, if I'm not talking with those people, how are they going to know? I'm cool. Well, I'll tell you. They will know that you're cool because they always see you where they are. And if they're doing cool stuff and they always see where see where they are, well, then you must be cool too.

Speaker 2: And if you are doing your thing, working on your mission, chatting with your people, giving value that gets seen. So then it's the other familiarity. It's not only is this guy always here. He's always cool. He's always doing his thing. He's always adding value. This makes it so easy for the bridge to be built. And those connections that happen. And I always, I see this a lot and this is why, again, the mission is so important because it compels you to be at these things repeatedly. For a lot of people, they're like, well, I just don't feel like going out. Well then you're you don't have a Y if you had a Y, if you had a reason, if you had a mission, you would be compelled to get off your couch and turn off Netflix, because Netflix isn't giving you the satisfaction that pursuing your mission. What

Speaker 1: Absolutely agree there and understand the long game in all of this, you know, all of that would have been short circuited with an initial ask right upfront, can you do this for me? Can I get this out of you? Ha can I leverage this Johnny? Hey, Michael, I want to be doing something. Can you help me? Right. That's not how this works. When you approach this, as I'm making genuine connections, I'm offering value, I'm being emotionally supportive, I'm sharing my knowledge and I'm making introductions. Then you go a long way to growing and compounding that social capital. That's so valuable. Now I do want to make a caveat around introductions because we talked about relationships as part of your social capital. And many people think, oh, great. All I gotta do is just start throwing everyone that I know at other people that I don't know.

Speaker 1: And now I'm making connections and I'm really helping myself. That's actually the wrong way to go about it. For many of the people that you're looking to connect with, they have their own mission that they're on. They have a lot on their plate and a Willy nilly introduction of someone they don't know. Even if you think that person could benefit them out of the blue, puts a lot of pressure on them to not know what to say or do with this introduction. Or maybe they don't even get the context from you of what the introduction is about. And it falls flat. It actually makes you look bad. So we prefer the double opt-in strategy. What a double opt-in means is you personally reach out to each person that you would like to introduce and you supply context to each of them. Hey, Michael, I'd love to introduce you to one of my favorite public speakers.

Speaker 1: Ted Ted is talking, he's an expert in these three areas and he just gave a great TEDx talk on this. Would you be open to meeting him? Right? So that gives Michael an opportunity to one say, yes, I'm ready to meet someone or to, to say, Hey, you know, I'm really busy preparing for my upcoming talk. I don't really have time to grab coffee or lunch. Love to do it in the future. Thanks for thinking of me. Right? So you give Michael an opportunity to say yes or no. Then you go to Ted and you go, Hey, Ted, my best friend, Michael, he's an accomplished speaker. These are the three subjects he's speaking about on stage. And I saw you guys are going to the same event in three months. I'd love to throw an introduction in your way. Would you be open to it?

Speaker 1: And now tad can say, oh, you know what? I'm actually not going to be going to that event. I haven't let the, uh, organizers know that I'm not going to be attending. And I just, I'm pretty slammed on this book that I'm writing, right? That double opt-in goes a long way to show that you value each person's time. You care about them, and you're not going to waste any of that valuable social capital that you have, what I find time and time again. And I get it. We're young. We're trying to, to show off that we have some connections we're trying to help everyone. And we get this all the time. Hey, there's this guest that I want to introduce you to. I'm going to CCM. Hey, AIG, meet Tom. Okay, Tom AIG, go do your thing. And I'm like, oh, I don't know who Tom is.

Speaker 1: I don't know what he talks about. Does he even know the podcast? And then all of a sudden, I'm on a call with Tom where neither of us know each other and we can't actually work together. And now we both feel like our time was wasted and we're going to blame you for that sloppiness in your introduction. So the double opt-in is the best strategy to be respectful of either party. And when you get a firm, yes, they remember that connection even more because you are so thoughtful in the way that you set it up. So that's how we leverage our connections, our relationships, right? So we've talked about knowledge. I'll give you one more example, because I know we have a lot of young listeners imagine being in the front row for Michael's talk, taking a great video with your mobile phone, then going home and editing a tick talk video editing, Michael's talk into 60 seconds and saying, Hey, I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 1: I made this little tick video, feel free to share it. Michael might not have a video team editing his videos to create Tik talks. He could really value that to be able to put that on his social media and show off what he just did on stage. That's the way that you can offer that valuable knowledge that you have in all this new tech and all these new platforms that many of the people who are 2, 3, 4 steps ahead of you in their career, just aren't engaging with because they don't have the time. So being thoughtful in what knowledge and value you have to offer is a great way to foster these deeper connections.

Speaker 3: I have the perfect example for this, and I didn't have to do any editing whatsoever. I was sitting in the third or fourth row and the speaker was up an elderly lady and she gave this amazing talk. And the two ladies sitting right in front of me, they were like super animated. They were like so excited. And I'm thinking to myself, maybe that's their mom, maybe right? Maybe. So I took a photo where the both heads were like on one side and the lady on the stage was in the middle and I just took a photo. It wasn't even a good quality. And later on, when I bumped into them, I was like, Hey, what's that your mom? Wasn't the talk amazing. I said, I took a photo of you 3d want to have it. So I ended up with all of their contact information and I was like, they're their best friend at the event because I was so thoughtful to take a really not that great photo that for them now is a really precious moment to remember because that's the only photo they have of the two daughters watching their mom on the stage.

Speaker 1: It's a beautiful example. And again, we're not talking firing up final cut pro and Googling how to cut this magical five minute trailer, but these small little purse of effort and favor and energy that you put out into the world come back. And so many different ways that you can't even possibly realize. If all you're thinking about is what can I get out of this situation? So let's talk about after the event, we gave you some great strategies to lead up to the event. Some amazing strategies for how to approach all the people you want to meet at the event. Of course, we recommend you use the conversation formula. Let's talk about what to do after the event, because that's really where the rubber meets the road. That's where you start to solidify those connections you've made, because I will tell you I've gone to so many events where I come home with a pocket full of business cards of people that I'm excited to work with.

Speaker 1: And I wasn't the best at taking great notes. And I couldn't remember all those conversations and they just never followed up with me and all those great ideas that we had. All that great momentum at the event just died day three Sunday evening when everyone was flying home. So while the iron is hot, while things are top of mind, jot down your notes, you're remembering those memories of the event and all the connections you made and start the followup. So that as these people you met are landing back home. They're hopping on their LinkedIn, they're checking their Facebook. They're opening their email for the first time. You're there in their inbox, offering that emotional support, giving that bit of knowledge or saying, Hey, that was such a great conversation. I'd love to meet you. Introduce you, these two people. What do you say that's going to set you so far ahead again, in my experience.

Speaker 1: And I didn't do this myself early on in my career when I was trying to be a professional networker and I was really trying to grow my network and I missed out on so many opportunities because I just failed to follow up. And you have to realize that many of these events, they're double, triple stacked. Many of these speakers, they're, they're on a tour where they're speaking at a ton of events. So if you let days go by, if you let weeks go by and you think they're just going to remember you, because that conversation was so memorable for you, you're actually shooting yourself in the foot. So I would say I would not wait more than 24 hours after the end of the event to start the reach-out and the follow-up and making sure that you're adding everyone on the platforms, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, because let's be honest.

Speaker 1: Many of us don't all engage in all of those platforms. Some of our podcast guests that we've had on have told me straight up, I don't check LinkedIn, not a great place to connect with me. Some have said, Hey, I'm only in my Instagram, DMS, others have said I deleted Facebook. So you have to understand putting those tentacles out on every single platform, reaching out to them on every single platform, whatever platform they accept you on. Then starting the messaging is the best strategy you can have to start following up and enriching these connections you've made at that event.

Speaker 3: First and foremost, I think it's so important to reach out. I got con I can't emphasize how important it is to maybe block out half a day after the event, even before you go to the event, because that's how long it was take to reach out to all of them and just let them know, Hey, it was nice to meet you, but like my go to a followup would be, Hey, was so great to meet you at the conference. Happy to talk about X, Y, and Z, whatever it was. Um, when I wanted to have one of you to have my contact information as well, have a good day, Michael, that's it. Um, and whenever I give you a Jane or Johnny, my, my business card, and I say, Hey, that was a really good idea. Will you like, will you get in touch with me?

Speaker 3: And you're like, yeah, yeah, of course. But I don't have any more business cards. Um, give me yours. I'll be in touch and you don't. I will remember you guys. I will remember you at the next event that we had a really great idea that I can't remember anymore, that you had my business card and you didn't reach out. And the last, like my favorite way, and this probably doesn't work for everyone. But my favorite way of following up is that whenever I have a good connection with someone at an event, I take a selfie with them, not the, oh, let's do a duck face for Instagram order, but more like, Hey, let's, let's do a selfie so we can remember this. And then I asked the other person to do a silly face. I might be like, Hey, let's, let's look like we're angry at each other. Let's it's not the boring everyday fan boy selfie, but it's this, let's pretend we're both bank robbers at this event here. And we're going to, let's take a selfie together. And then we're laughing about the selfie and that's what I'm sending them the next day. It's like, by the way, here's the silly selfie we took together. Now they remember my face. They have my email address, they have my contact information, and then they share that funny moment that we had together as we're like posing like bank robbers for, for a selfie.

Speaker 1: And remember if you took anything valuable from what was shared in conversation or from stage, and you applied it in your life, that follow-up of the impact it's had on you, whether it's weeks or months later is incredibly valuable to that speaker. So you send your initial message where you identify where you met them, what the conversation was. Maybe you include that silly selfie idea that Michael shared. And then three months later after you put that little habit tactic into action, or you actually had a great conversation with someone they introduced you to, and it turned into a project or you've changed careers. And now you're really excited to learn more about something. That's a great reason to reach back out to that person, to maintain that connection, that loose tie. I can't tell you how powerful those messages are. For those of us who are coaches, who are onstage, who are creating, trying to help others.

Speaker 1: When we can actually see, hear, feel the impact we're having, it fires us up to create more. And it makes me more likely to want to work with you, to mentor you, to open up my network to you because you're an action taker. 90 plus percent of people attending in that audience are not going to take action. They're going to smile. They're going to nod. They're going to say yes, that was the best keynote I've ever heard. And they're going to go back home and life's going to get in the way, and that's totally fine. But if it has had an impact on you and you have done something about what you learned, share it with whoever gave you that tip strategy tactic, letting them know that it was beneficial, and you'd be surprised how they might invite you to lunch. The next time they're in town, or they might say, Hey, I want to give you a VIP ticket to the next conference because you took action, action begets action.

Speaker 1: And it leads to the deeper connections in our lives. The problem is many of us feel a little shy or nervous around saying these things. And even if we are taking action while we don't want to bother the other person we don't want to share, and that connection dies on the vine. And I I've had people reach out over a year later, to me saying, I still remember what you said on stage and using, because anytime I answer how my day is going, and I've been able to make X number of relationships and meet my best friend, all because of that simple, small talk strategy, talk about making me feel good. Talk about having an impact on the world. And those have led to relationships and wildlife.

Speaker 2: I'm going to add to that, that for all of this, and we've talked about being high value people on the show, and we've had several podcasts about what it means to be a high value. But the bottom line there is that you're intentional. You're intentional with your behaviors and actions. And if they are towards a, a north star or a mission, right, you're now moving intentionally other high value, intentional people are going to relate to those behaviors. You want to start bringing in and start meeting in high value. People will start acting with purpose and intention, and it will be recognized that old silly saying game recognizes game. It's not a trope because it's not true. People recognize those things and other people. Why? Because it permeates every aspect of their lives.

Speaker 1: Now you might be wondering, well, how do I ask for what I want? You guys have talked about creating relationships. You've talked about developing social capital. You've shared all these great tips and strategies for me to actually network, but how do I get what I want out of this network? How do I actually get that transaction? My rule of thumb is I wait until I actually have a real relationship or connection with that person to ask anything of them. And if that may seem pretty difficult or frustrating for you, then follow the three favor rule. If you've given this person three favors, if you've done three solid things, to help support them, to give them value and they've appreciated it. And they've said, thank you so much. This was helpful then. And only then is it cool for you to start asking for something back from other people?

Speaker 1: If you want to burn relationships, if you want to torture, networking, and you want to be that person that makes other people feel like they need a shower after hanging out with you, then go ahead and start asking everyone for everything. But instead, if you can give someone three simple favors, if you can impact them three times, they're going to be far more likely to finally reciprocate. They may even offer to help you before you get a chance to ask. And that's a much more powerful place to be than to be the person who's constantly asking for something of others to be the taker as Adam Grant calls it. When you give, and we're not saying give hours of your time, we're not saying spend a week editing that tick talk video. We're not saying write a dissertation and then submit it in order to get something out of someone else.

Speaker 1: But if you're in a habit and you're doing this ongoing that you're paying attention to, who's in your network, your seeing who you're connected with, and you're constantly offering emotional support, offering knowledge, making some introductions. And after three of those things get appreciated, you then say, Hey, you know, I'm really looking for something. You'd be amazed. How much more likely you are to get that favor. And I will add this last piece. Many of you listening right now, ask us all the time. How do you get these great guests on your show? I've never heard of these authors. I would have never encountered them on other shows. We try our best to handpick, amazing guests for you and elevate people who actually have real applicable knowledge to help you win at work love in life. And one of the easiest ways that we get these great guests is after we've spent an hour with a guest and we've asked thoughtful questions and we've had a great conversation and they turn to us and say, man, I haven't had a podcast episode like that in forever.

Speaker 1: That was such a great interview. You guys read the book you're so well-prepared then, and only then do we say, Hey, is there anyone else in your network that might be a great guest for our show. We're not having our producer, Eric hound them after the show. We're not asking them before they come on the show. We're not saying actually we wanted to have you on because we want to get your friend on. We're only doing it after we've provided immense value. We've shared our platform with them. We've presented them in a fantastic light to help support them on their mission of selling their books, getting their message out there, getting ahead in their own career. And then we go, Hey, if there's anyone that I should connect with, if there's anyone that we should know or potentially have on the show, we would love that introduction.

Speaker 1: We end up getting amazing guests from that exact strategy. So to recap, networking, doesn't have to feel lucky. It doesn't have to feel dirty no matter where you are, how junior or senior you are when you take stock in your social capital. And you understand the power of leveraging pre events, how to show up at the event and how to follow up with the simple strategies we outline, you're going to very rapidly and exponentially grow your social capital. And you're going to get to a place where you're getting job offers like Sid, that you didn't even know were available. And that's why we love this topic so much. So we come back and revisit it time and time again, if you want our art of charm networking, cheat sheet, all these great tips that you heard on the show, we put together a cheat sheet just for you. You can head over to the art of charm.com/networking, cheat, networking, cheat, and we will send you a phone screensaver cheat sheet that you can use the next time you're heading to an event to leverage all these great strategies and start creating amazing connections in your own life.

Speaker 4: [inaudible]

Speaker 1: Johnny. It's always fun. When we get interviewed on other shows and they ask a bit of our origin story, taking a look back over the last 15 years, I can tell you that our network has single-handedly helped us reach this level of success to you guys, coming from the Midwest blue collar background, not having a network growing up. We put a lot of work in developing our own personal networking skills. And it was so fun today to share all of those stories and strategies with our audience.

Speaker 2: Well, one of the things that I can relate to is for most people, when they think about networking, is that icky feeling or, well, my network isn't that big, or I don't know anybody. Well, neither did we, we went out there, we made a bunch of noise and we began building our network. And as we were building our network, we were building our brand and building our company and building our confidence

Speaker 1: This week. Shout out, goes to our X-Factor member, Kenny. He actually wrote me an email this week, and I'm excited to share it with you hope all as well, quick win to share AAJ over the last two weeks, I've had to discern between my current company and another offer and an exciting role that came up. It's a delicate conversation to discuss other opportunities with the current employer. And I was able to navigate it without losing any Goodwill, being a one-person team, developing AI at a traditional accounting firm, they gave the green light that this initiative would be longstanding, and that I'd be able to hire and develop an entire department, although not the traditional CPA career path, they provided clear steps to become a shareholder in the future. I also got a 15% raise as part of my annual review. The best part I got all of this without even asking while only the upsides were discussed, I feel the driving factor was the fact that most of what I developed over the last year would go to waste.

Speaker 1: Unless consultants came in to maintain it here. The negotiation podcast from a month ago really helped me navigate my different points of leverage. It was an ACE in my pocket, and I was so happy to be able to negotiate this on my behalf. For the other opportunity, I did negotiate a crazy salary, almost 30% more than my current salary. This is something that I would not have had the confidence to do last year before joining the X-Factor accelerator. I did turn it down though, because it would have been a pressure cooker situation. And I just felt like it would have been a short term opportunity. Thank you again, Kenny,

Speaker 2: I love that. Ready to start accelerating your career success. Join our X-Factor accelerator today and get access to the entire art of charm team and start [email protected]

Speaker 1: Before we go, one quick favor, open up your favorite podcast app and rate and review this show. It helps us bring audience members like you into the fold, and we love all of our show fans. Thank you for the support. The art of charm podcast is produced by Michael Harold and Eric Montgomery until next week, get out there and start networking.

Speaker 4: [inaudible] [inaudible].

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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