Bob Gower and Alexandra Jamieson | The Art of Flexible Boundaries

In today’s episode, we answer your questions and cover the All In Method with Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower. Alexandra is the bestselling author of five books, and co-creator / co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and Bob is a New York-based consultant, writer, and speaker.

All of us have different values and beliefs guiding us through life, and the differences between two people can lead to damaging friction if they are not dealt with directly, so what can you do to get everyone on the same page and working toward a common goal while respecting each other?

What to Listen For

  • What is the All In Method (AIM) and how can you use it to maintain and strengthen your relationships, especially with those you work with?
  • What questions can you ask yourself and others to develop more empathy and strengthen relationships with those you care about or work with?
  • What is the value of boundaries and how do you start a conversation about your boundaries?
  • Why can being rigid with your boundaries lead to worse outcomes than having no boundaries?
  • What are the common pitfalls that teams run into when trying to reach alignment?
  • What can examining our boundaries teach us about ourselves and the relationships we form with others?
  • What can you do as a parent to help your children break out of their shell so their lack of social skills don’t lead to constant failure and disappointment?
  • How do you express curiosity in conversations with people you’re not genuinely interested in getting to know?
  • Should you write down questions before going into an important interview or date or even an appointment?

The more time we spend with other people, the more likely it is that differences in personalities, values, and beliefs will lead to conflict. If that friction is not taken care of, it can destroy relationships professionally and personally. It is best to be proactive about potential problems rather than reactive, as being reactive can often mean being too late to solve a problem. And being proactive means being willing to have conversations that aren’t always easy or comfortable.

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Resources from this Episode

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AJ Harbinger - author of 1114 posts on The Art of Charm

AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality. Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.

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