What are the ways to make a good first impression? It’s the question on every guy’s mind, and it’s about so much more than just talking to women. We should start by saying that making an unforgettable first impression doesn’t necessarily have to be the goal; On the contrary, a first impression is mostly about just opening up the door to further conversation. But consider this a “hard mode” guide to becoming a supreme master when chatting with women out at bars and clubs. Here’s how to make a good first impression she’ll never forget.
First, you need to have one of the basics down: You need to be standing up straight. Nothing is going to communicate the confidence that you have in yourself faster than standing up straight and appearing to be a high-value, confident man. In fact, you need to practice posture until you can call on it whenever you need it. We’d even recommend taking a bit of time to practice posture every time you head out.
Smile is another thing you should practice before you need to call on it. It’s not just about your mouth; Smiling takes place on your whole face. In terms of your approach, a good smile is going to communicate the kind of friendly, high-energy attitude that’s absolutely essential to making your approach a home run every time.
Tone of Voice
Talking to women isn’t just about finding the right words. Practice tone of voice as well. Try reading speeches from some of the great men in history. Find your own tone of voice. You want to project yourself so that she can hear you when you speak, but without yelling and coming across too aggressive. The latter can sometimes be just as much of a killer as the opposite. Record yourself and see what you sound like. Take notes and be honest with yourself about what you need to change.
When talking to women, guys stress over their opening line. But what if we told you that the purpose of the opening line was only to get the conversation started, not to knock it out of the park. Pick something a little irreverent, upbeat and open-ended. Deliver it with confidence and even if she has no idea what you’re talking about, you can make the conversation go exactly where you want it to.
A lot of guys make the mistake that we call “dancing monkey.” It’s where you try way too hard to be “entertaining.” Rather than this, you should push back a little bit. Be challenging. Make sure that she knows that you’re not just looking to get every girl’s number in the bar or club; On the contrary, you’re only looking for the right women.
No, not marriage after the first interaction. What we mean here is that you need to commit to the interaction. You need to follow through and go where the conversation goes. Don’t back out the second she begins to challenge you back.
Yes, leaving. You want to leave her wanting more. Remember, she’s going to be at the same place as you for a while, so don’t be afraid to excuse yourself to get a drink, go for a dance or even just to rejoin your friends. Don’t feel like you need to cling to her all night.
Practice talking to women everywhere you go, and before long it will feel like second nature.
AJ Harbinger - author of 1111 posts on The Art of Charm
AJ Harbinger is one of the world’s top relationship development experts. His company, The Art of Charm, is a leading training facility for top performers that want to overcome social anxiety, develop social capital and build relationships of the highest quality.
Raised by a single father, AJ felt a strong desire to learn about relationships and the elements that make them successful. However, this interest went largely untapped for many years. Following the path set out for him by his family, AJ studied biology in college and went on to pursue a Ph.D. in Cancer Biology at the University of Michigan. It was at this time that he began to feel immense pressure from the cancer lab he worked in and began to explore other outlets for expression. It was at this point that The Art of Charm Podcast was born.
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