Now that school is back in session, I know that you will want to throw a few house parties for the new friends that you will be making. House parties are a good way to meet people and be the center of your social circle for the evening. Here are a few pointers to make your next get together all that it should be:

Think of an occasion or unique theme for your party. This will allow your event to take on a character of its own and entice new friends to attend. A few decorations to accompany that theme will keep your event festive and entertaining.

Create some sort of play list on your Ipod to continuously play music that keeps the party atmosphere alive. Try to stay away from epic or moody songs that could drag the energy down. If you have a dj friend, ask them if they could put something together for you. Remember, you can’t please everyone, but do try to put a decent variety of music together.

Create a comfortable space for your guests to hang out by arranging furniture and dimming the lights. If you cannot dim them try hanging fabric over the lamp shades. This will create a fun atmosphere.

Be sure to greet your guests as they show up. Take their coats and let them know where they will be so that they can retrieve them later. Then, direct them to the party room and  show them where the drinks are. This will allow them to feel welcome and special.

Since this is going to be your party, make sure you are dressed appropriately. If you set a theme or made it a formal party, be dressed in that attire. You will be the first person everyone sees when they show up and you want to make a good impression. Also, it will help you stand out so that people will be able to find you.

Everyone is going to be looking at you throughout the party. So keep your energy up and your mood light and fluffy to keep everyone relaxed and loose. If your mood is down, the energy of your party will be that way as well. Since this is your party you will want to infect everyone with good vibes and light conversation.

Have a few different drinks on hand. A bottle or two and some mixers will suffice. There are plenty of fun drinks that you can make with just a few ingredients to make the evening festive. Think of the theme of your event and make a drink to go with it. If you can’t find a drink to go with it, you can make one up. Start out by making a few drinks for everyone. If you are trying to do this on a light college budget, you can make it a BYOB party and encourage folks to contribute to the occasion.

Since you are the host of this party, you will probably have guests who do not know each other. Introduce everyone and give value to your guests as you introduce them. (Hey Jim have you met Bill? Bill is great. He’s one of my favorite people. Hey Bill come over here and meet Jim. This guy rules.)

You might want to have a few activities planned for people to take part in so that they can mingle and flirt.Things like dancing and drinking games can be fun. If you own a video game system you might want to have Rock Band or Guitar Hero set up.

Above all else, make sure to enjoy your own party. This is the most important. Host a few of these and you will have made a few new friends and show you can be the social ambassador of your social circle.

Just recently, I went home to visit my family and see some old friends. It has been about 16 years since I left and little seemed to change except for myself. Other than seeing my family, I really have no reason to visit. The place is a bit of a hole. A fly speck of a spot on a map in the foothills of Appalachia. Not really a particular pleasant place to be.

Let’s look at the reality of it. Greensburg is a suburb of Pittsburgh, about 30 – 35 minutes south-east of the city, with a population of about 16,000 people in the city up to about 60,000 in surrounding areas. Pittsburgh’s steel industry dried up in the late 70s and early 80s and when those mills closed up, so did Greensburg. It is a dead city with little to nothing going for itself.

Though I will always stay a hardcore Steelers fan, I don’t have much for the town I grew up in. I remember growing up there and feeling bored and empty. I always felt there was more going on in the world and wanted to see it. When I was 21 years old, a friend of my family had moved to Chapel Hill, NC. I knew a little about the town because it had a budding music scene. He called me and told me that if I wanted to check it out, I could stay with his folks for a couple of weeks. I left that morning.  Chapel Hill seemed like everything Greensburg wasn’t. Fantastic music scene, cultured and lets not forget the fantastic weather. It’s a place that I regularly call home now.

The one thing I remembered most about Chapel Hill was how pretty everything was compared to Greensburg. Things did not look run down and broken. Everything seemed to have a life of its own. I remember pulling into my friend’s house who I was staying with and it seemed like I was breathing for the very first time in my life. I for once in my life felt I was alive and could truly explore my thoughts and be the person I always wanted to be.

While I was home I went out a few times and saw some old friends from high school. Some seem to like where they lived and that is fine. If I had enjoyed that area, my life would have been a lot simpler. I am not trying to tell you guys were to live, but I do want you to answer a few questions for me.

1. Is there a male to female ratio that supports your needs? Are you able to meet people who interest you?
2. Are you able to find work in your field of expertise? How far is your commute?
3. Are you challenging your mind?
4. Are you able to be yourself without having to explain yourself?
5. Are you truly happy?

Just because you were raised in an area does not mean you have to stay there and carve out a life. Your parents had their reason to move there and you have your reasons to move out. You have the power to change whatever it is you do not like in your life. Don’t just take what life gives you, go take the life you want.

There is no easy way to end a relationship with someone you care about. Someone usually gets hurt and the other usually feels a new sense of freedom. I have ended a few in my life, but usually my girlfriends, after dealing with my bullshit for so long, would finally just end it for me. For the most part, there are easier ways to deal with a breakup.

Perhaps if you would have kept your social circle, you would not have been dumped in the first place. Guys, try to keep in touch of your friends. When you ditch them for your new girlfriend, they will remember that. The minute you have devoted your entire life to your girlfriend is the minute you are swimming at sea. If and when the relationship fails, who is going to be there to get you hammered? Who is going to be there to help you make a fool of yourself while chasing new girls around?

Some guys will get a girlfriend and all of a sudden, they put on this holier than thou attitude and begin to blow their friends off. Yeah I know, your girlfriend thought they were immature, right? Well I have news for you. They are. They are your friends. They make up a part of your world that she is becoming a part of. If you think chasing women with your friends has to end when you have found your special sweetheart, you don’t! You can be the ultimate wing man for your buddies. You never know what is going to happen in your relationship so don’t write-off your boys.

If you were the one who was dumped, you will need to wash all existence of her off of your mind. Drop all contact with the ex. You can’t call her. You can’t ride past her house to see what she’s doing. Go ahead and get her off your twitter, myspace, facebook, etc. You will always have the urge to see what her status is or her latest stream of tweets, and you will justify it by saying that you are worried about her. Fool, she is moving on and you need to as well. One look at a status update about her recent date or visit from an old friend, and it is meltdown city.

You might have to visit some new bars or hangouts for a while. You don’t want to run into her on her night out with friends, blowing off steam and making out with random dudes. This will cause you to do something stupid. Trust me, I know. What you will rationalize is that you are an adult and you can handle it. “It’s totally cool.” What you will end up doing is about 14 shots of tequila to show how cool about it you are. All the while, you are puking your guts out in the restroom and she is crying about how much she is sorry. Sound fun?

The best thing that I can say to do is to channel that anger and energy into yourself. Get yourself back to the gym, buy some new clothes and try and sink into a new hobby for a while. You might just find yourself doing some things you never had the chance to do before and you might learn something new. The best part is, if you disappear for a while, she could think you are doing better than she is and will begin to want you back. If you succeed in moving forward, you might not want to have her back in your life so fast.

If you are the dumper, I recommend being honest with both yourself and her about why you are doing this and letting her know that you do care for her. Make sure that breaking up is truly what you want because if you are the one crawling back in two weeks, you are going to be one miserable man. She will own you and make it very tough on you. The message you could be sending is, “I felt I could do a lot better than you, but now that I was out there, I saw that I couldn’t and I am settling for you.” This is something no one wants to feel.

Guys, if you want to play the lottery or wait to get lucky, I’ll let you in on something. Luck is being able to see opportunity and being brave and man enough to step up to take it.  At some point in your life, if you want something passionately enough, you will have to go after it.

Women can see shyness as endearing or cute, but that has nothing to do with being attracted to you. Women want a man who is going to take control of the situation. She wants to lose herself in the bedroom, and a shy man is not going to allow her that privilege. The good news is, there are a few women who like shy men. So all you have to do is hope you run into her and somehow catch her attention. The sad part is, she will eventually get bored and drop you like a rock.

Guys, I may seem a bit harsh. It is only because I care and want to help. You have been coddled for way too long. It is time to get yourself out there and live life. We all need a swift kick at some time in our lives.

One thing that I hear shy guys say often is, “I’m Shy.” You do not have to be shy anymore. Put it behind you. If you continue to say that you’re shy, you will continue to be shy. Put it in the past. “I used to be shy but now I’m working on being more outgoing.” That is the first thing to do. When you are an adult, being shy means, “I’m a big wuss.” This is not attractive.

Get out there and take your shots with everyone else. Meeting women is a full contact sport. You will win some and lose some. You will probably lose a hell of a lot more than you’ll win. Rejection shouldn’t hurt you. You will still be there standing after the hardest blowout, and should be ready to talk to the next woman. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and if you are smart about it, you can learn from those mistakes to make yourself a better man.

Get yourself out there and get comfortable talking to both men and women. I don’t care what you have to do to get comfortable, but do it. Opinion openers, bar surveys, strippers sitting on your lap at a strip club; whatever it is, it does not matter. The sooner you start, the sooner it will be over. If you don’t want anyone to see you practicing, go to a place where no one knows you.

Actually, that strip club idea is a good one. If you are very uncomfortable around beautiful, naked women, go to the strip club with about twenty $1 bills and get the girls to sit and talk to you. Make sure to tip them occasionally. That’s how they make money. Try to go on slow nights: Sunday through Wednesday. They will appreciate the money and you can benefit from their company.

These are some easy things that you can do. If you start today, you can be well on your way in just a few weeks. Getting over your shyness is not impossible. Thousands of people go through it everyday. You won’t be the first and you won’t be the last. Besides, do you have better things to do? You will when you quit being shy.

Men and women should make sure that they are taking care of themselves first before they try to take care of other people. It always seems like the minute you allow someone to be the number one priority in your life is the minute they have nothing to work for anymore. They become bored and start looking for the next shiny object. Whether it is a man feeling like he is number one or a woman’s fight to make herself your number one, they both can become bored. The man can get lazy and his girl gets to looking.

Here are a few rules that I have used to guide my relationships:

The only time I put woman’s needs ahead of mine is in the bedroom. I give it my all. It’s a way to show her my appreciation for dealing with all my bullshit. I had an older woman once tell me when I was younger that if I was able to please a woman in the bedroom, then I would always have the upper-hand in the whatever I wanted to do with the rest of the relationship. I’ll tell you what, that little piece of advice had always served me well. I have done some lame irresponsible things to my girlfriends and was still usually taken back and loved even harder.

She found you attractive in the begging because of who you were when you met. A lot of guys get comfortable in a relationship and stop being who they were. They become lazy. Sure, she may not like some of your friends and some of your activities might interfere with the two of you spending time together. Too bad. Giving up your friends and hobbies make you a dull boy. With your hobbies gone, it’s easy to quit caring for yourself. One day, she’ll you that she wants to see other people. This is one of the biggest problems that I see.

The more you try to get the other person invested in the relationship, the more they will want to get out of it. The more you are able to explore each others emotions, the better connected you become. It makes it really hard for your partner to look at someone else and see someone that could fulfill them emotionally as you do.

We all have hobbies and goals and we all get frustrated from time to time trying to forge a head. It is so much easier to push through knowing that someone out there has our back, cheering us on from the sidelines making us feel that know matter what, they will be there for us. It is truly hard finding people who could really support us through thick and thin. Our friends are not normally going to give us that support that someone who truly loves us can. There is just something special about celebrating victories with someone who believed in us all along.

We have been saying here at The Art of Charm that emotional transfers are the glue that bonds us, and being able to feel can help you transfer emotions more clearly. Putting yourself in emotional experiences together will go a long way. Vacations, watching movies together, hiking or cooking together, etc… These experiences on their own can hold some beautiful emotional moments that you will be able to share together. What’s the old saying? “Those who play together stay together.” Find fun adventures to do together such as horseback riding or going to an amusement park. Explore the world together.

We all have our pet peeves and things that really turn us off about other people. It is important to look at what you truly want in a person and what you don’t want. When was the last time you took out a pen and paper and wrote out some realistic qualifications for the woman of your dreams?

Think about some of the aspects of a person’s life, and think about how you would feel about having these aspects in your own life.

When it comes to physical characteristics, what is important to you? Of course, there are extremes such as weight and height that could turn you off, but what are your limits? How concerned are you about these things in your own life? Do you work out? How often do you wash your clothes and take a shower? If you take care of yourself, you will probably expect the same in a partner.

Personality traits like lack of affection, being a perfectionist or the being a jealous person can be deal breakers for some. Girls who need a lot of attention can be a turnoff for certain guys. I personally have a problem with women wanting a lot of my time. My time is very important to me. To date me, you would have to have your own life that you invest much of your time in.

Think of the things you do to help you with your everyday life. Some are healthier than others while some are more time-consuming. They can be anything from drinking and smoking to gaming and relaxing. Some start as hobbies that turn into a way of coping with stress. Think about what you do to deal with the day to day grind. Would you want a partner with these vices? What vices can you deal with?

In a long-term relationship, you might want your partner to possess certain skills like being handy with a sewing kit or possibly a whiz with a few ingredients and a pound of ground chicken. What life skills do you possess? Can you take care of a yard? Can you fix a broken light fixture? What was the dynamic in your household growing up? What seemed to be your fathers role? What role did your mother fill? Did it work?

My father’s responsibilities quickly doubled when my parents separated. He found himself having to cook dinner for two children who were used to my mother’s fine Italian meals. He was clueless in the kitchen, and looking back, he really tried his best even though I tortured him about it. Meals went from being a full course of pot roast, mashed potatoes, peas and salad to Swanson’s frozen dinners.

Take a hard look at what you really want in a woman and start being selective in your life. Write down what your deal breakers are.

1. Physical characteristics (Height, grooming, weight, age)

2. Personality traits (Affectionate, Perfectionist, Sense of humor, Jealous

3. Vices (Smokes, Drinks, Works too much, Attention seeking,Video games, shopping)

4. Skills (Handy around the house, Can cook, Good in bed)

By Johnny Dzubak

I have dated my fair share of crazy girls. Hell, some would even say that I was the one who drove them crazy. I dated so many of these girls because I was drawn to the drama; the excitement of never knowing what to expect, and the constant energy that these girls fused into our relationships. There never seemed to be a dull moment. The sex was always top notch. How could it not be with constant fights and make-ups?

I think William Congreve said it best when he wrote, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” Basically, a women can throw so much love at you. If you indulge in it, it can be the deepest love you could ever feel. If we take that love for granted and mistreat those who are selfless, we will deal with a wrath so great that Satan himself would pale in comparison. Who doesn’t want to experience a love like that? Sounds intriguing right?

Is all the drama and good sex in these relationships worth their emotional toll? When I was younger, yes. I loved those relationships. They made me feel alive. Not to mention, it made me feel good to know that a woman would go absolutely stock-raven mad if she did not know my whereabouts every 10 minutes.  I felt secure in those relationships. Crazy girls can do that to you.

As I get older and become more secure with myself, all that drama can become  too time consuming. I don’t have time to answer the phone every 10 minutes and disclose who I’m with and what I’m doing at all times. The crazy sex is still tempting though.

Strippers get a bad rap for being crazy. I’ve dated career oriented women who were just as crazy as any woman who takes her clothes off for a living. It has to do with feminine energy. I believe that the more a woman allows herself to be driven emotionally, the easier it is for her to be overwhelmed by these emotions and to think and act accordingly. Sure, some women are able to hold it together in a business meeting, but when it comes to their love lives, they can feel vulnerable and let her emotions get the best of them. Sometimes, crazy thoughts are floating around in her head and they cause her to act without reasoning.

Think about the stupid stuff you do when you have been emotionally distraught. Hell, I remember being 23, naked with just my boots on, kicking in my girlfriend’s windshield. Why? Because I was emotionally distraught. One of the stupidest things I have ever done. I feel bad about it to this day.

Insecurities can be enough to make anyone crazy. Why else would a wife chop her husband’s penis off and drive 5 miles down the road to chuck it out the window? That’s what can happen when you piss off a woman. She is and will be capable of anything.

Honesty and communication can go along way in allowing your lovers to feel secure in your relationship. If your “crazy girl” feels secure in the relationship, she won’t have to come up with ways to get your attention or allow herself to question you at every turn.

Join us this week on Sirius/XM’s “Game On” to discuss Crazy Girls.